Canadian hobo's don't want your money, they just want you to put them in a cup or a poster.  

this what i learned today. 

I wrote a poem today.  It started:

I am writing you a left-handed poem

because everything is backwards...

but it went downhill fast from there.

you were not the you,

in case you wondered. 

around 5/6 of the way through

i salvaged it i think

created some interesting

...yet thought provoking...

statements

had some good lines to try and fight the wealth

of bad ones

but i ended up throwing it away

because i hated it.

i wrote that poem with my left hand

but not all poems written with the left hand are

left-handed poems. 

this was not my poem. 

Lessons Learned from Drunks #13

when you piss and 

miss the toilet,

it is advisable

to start again

maybe in a new stall

know what? i really want to write you a poem.

why did i take this job? (based on a true story)

"I thought it was a myth!" said the man after he witnessed the solvation of the rubik's cube.  

I made up the world solvation. 

Abracadabra

Into his hat he cried "Please and Thank You!" and waited several minutes before the audience's jeers and cries of hatred burrowed into his skull.  Now he works in a cubical and finds himself resenting every rabbit he passes.  Magic his ass.  

Husbands

As it stopped, a woman on a train stood up promptly at 6h49 PM and announced her full name and destination.  She gave her name again to the conductor as she exited and again to the man on duty in the train station.  While she whistled a tune on the way to her mother's house, she wondered if she had remembered to lock the windows and if the hitman had arrived on time.